How to Turn Small Talk Into Smart
Conversation

• byRonald Chen
• Feb 27, 2023 at 5:47 pm

Imagine almost any situation where two or more people are gathered—a wedding reception or a job interview. What do these situations have in common? Almost all of them involve people trying to talk with each other. But in these very moments where a conversation would enhance an encounter, we often fall short.

When small talk stalls out, it’s often due to a phenomenon we call “mirroring.” In our attempts to be polite, we often answer people’s questions directly, repeat their observations, or just blandly agree with whatever they say. Such an approach can kill your conversation in the beginning. When you “break the mirror”, you give your interlocutor a chance to move forward in your small talk.

People also tend to do a passable job at talking. We stagger through our romantic, professional and social worlds with the goal merely of not crashing, never considering that we might soar. We go home sweaty and puffy without realizing that small talks are keys to opening greater conversations. In this post, we would like to show you how you can change this. For example, you can ask open-ended questions. Aim for questions that invite people to tell stories, rather than give bland, one-word answers.